Where We Take Our Smoke Breaks

smoker

“That’s where we take smoke breaks,” Anna pointed toward an E-Z Up under the Eucalyptus, several yards from the facility’s cafeteria. The dust was high on the dirt roads, the decrepit blue van billowing trails behind us as we carted … Continue reading →

The Long Walk Back

road

I couldn’t have asked for a more gorgeous day off work. Sky so crisply blue it seemed tangible, clouds high and fluffy, temperature in the low seventies. A perfect North County day, as all the days seemed during that spring so many years … Continue reading →

New Year’s Day

smoke

New Year’s Day, 2010. It was still dark when the act of coughing up sludge awoke me. Shit, I thought. No cough syrup available because of the alcohol content. No soothing Benadryl or Tylenol PM to rock me gently to … Continue reading →

A Harmless Little Lie

Green Oak

It was just another run of the mill Monday at rehab. Like always, the first item on our housekeeping list was the New Beginnings House. Run by the county, New Beginnings facilitated supervised meetings between parents and children when the … Continue reading →

A Trip to the Hospital: Part II

Medical Money

See here for the first part of the story. – – – My mom and I sat side by side in hard plastic chairs, listening to the social worker go on about why I didn’t qualify for Medicaid or Medicare. … Continue reading →

The Bravest Thing I’ve Ever Done

Me at the Ranch

I’m not a terribly brave person. If anything, I’m rather cowardly. Exhibit A: I flee from confrontation Exhibit B: The thought of a spider crawling across my arm sends me into apoplectic shock Exhibit C: A crowded room makes me want to crawl … Continue reading →

A Trip to the Hospital

No Insurance

“I’m okay,” I said, taking a gulping breath. The counselor tilted her head slightly, looking at me quizzically. “Are you sure? You look like you’re having trouble breathing.” “Yes,” I said. I took another gulping breath. “Well, okay then. Let … Continue reading →

Because I’m in Rehab

light-bulb

When I was in rehab, I made sure I mentioned that fact to everyone I met. To the checker at the grocery store down the road: “Could you double bag this 24-pack of soda? I have to walk, because I’m … Continue reading →