• Alcohol and Sobriety

    Year Four: Practicing Peace

    I know I’ve been writing a lot about my addiction and recovery lately. Hopefully it doesn’t scare anybody off, but there’s a few reasons for the trips down memory lane… It’s partly because tomorrow is my fourth birthday, meaning, the marker of four years without alcohol. Birthdays tend to make me reflective. It’s also because I’m embarking on step eight. You know, the fun one where you have to list all the people you’ve harmed and prepare to apologize to them. Yay. There’s nothing I like more than cataloguing all the terrible shit I’ve done to people. I’ve also been dealing with addiction again in an up-close-and-personal way, though this…

  • Ovid Quote
    Alcohol and Sobriety,  General Lunacy

    Hibernation Mode

    After the last few weeks of gut-wrenching mental torment and the emotional agony of the healing process, things around here have been…well, restful. Imagine that; not overworking or doing, doing, doing? Yeah, I didn’t know what that looked like, either. In thinking about blog topics for today, I sifted through my usual list of grievances, both against humanity and myself. I considered what was going on in life, little anecdotes about my days or with what exactly I’ve filled them. Truthfully though, my time has been passing with very little to distinguish one day from the other. I have been napping a lot lately, not exercising as intensely as usual,…

  • Alcohol and Sobriety,  General Lunacy


    I had grand plans for today. I was going to spend the majority of the day putting some profound emotional baggage behind me. This is known in A.A. speak as Step Five. Then I was going to write an amazing story and post it here. Then I was going to make a delicious, moderately nutritious dinner for myself and my husband. Because I am super-woman. Or at least, I try to be like her. – – – Instead, I got home late after a draining day. Good progress made on the healing front, but repairing the soul is uncomfortable, to say the least. Digging at wounds and flaws, rooting out…

  • Alcohol and Sobriety,  Depression is a Bitch

    The Hard

    I am struggling lately. This season of difficulty was not entirely brought on by external factors, though. Life is pretty okay in that regard: no one is sick, my family is on good terms with each other, Mike and I have stable jobs in an unstable economy. It’s not spectacular, but I honestly don’t have much to complain about when it comes to basic necessities. No, this is an internal struggle. Part of recovering from addiction is learning to deal with yourself, as the addict masks their humanity with drugs or alcohol. No icky feelings, no managing fears, no confronting the shame accumulated over a lifetime of being human –…


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