Family Dynamics, The Sacred Arts, Writing

Can You Hear Me?

June 24, 2013 /

“I have a movie for us to watch,” I too-casually mentioned as we crawled into bed after another soul-crushing week.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” Mike asked, squirreling around under the bed covers as he did every night, trying to get comfortable.

I turned off the bedside lamp, then nestled into a snug cocoon, as I did every night. “Finding Joe. I saw the trailer. It looks like something we should see.” I neglected to say that I had already watched it while getting ready for work that morning. I was still testing the waters of spousal receptivity.

“Wait,” he said, “did you read the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes?”

I winced internally. How did he know?

Then I back pedaled.

“Yeah, I know, I know, but it’s good. I already saw it. It was thought-provoking, at least.” I couldn’t play my hand too strongly, he might resist. Then I wondered…

“Wait, how did you hear about it? I only heard about it through a blog.”

“You left your browser open this morning. You always leave your browser open. That’s where I find most of my good reading.”

Hmm, well at least that was complimentary.

He then surprised me by saying “I watched the trailer, too. It looked decent.”

Temporary victory obtained, I let the subject drop.

– – –

The next morning as I fought my way out of sleep, a wide-awake Mike came into the bedroom and surprised me by asking, “Where is that movie you were talking about?”

I woke up fast, but played it off well. “It’s on my iTunes. We have to watch it on the computer.”

“Well, if you make the coffee, I’ll set it up.”

Walking in a few minutes later with steaming mugs, I settled together with him on the couch. As I listened to the same opening sequence I had heard the previous morning, I glanced sideways at him. He seemed to be paying attention: good sign.

Joseph Campbell’s theories on the universality of the heroic journey in mythology unfolded through the film, reaching across time.

I don’t think people are much looking for the meaning of life as they are looking for the experience of being alive…

As it progressed, I felt myself wanting to say, “Can you hear me? This is why I cry and fight and break down and get back up again. This is why I write.”

Instead, I remarked, “We studied this in school. You know, the hero’s journey?”

“Hmm,” he replied. He was watching.

I think the person that takes a job in order to live – that is to say, for the money – has turned himself into a slave […] find what makes you feel most alive, then go do it.

He turned to me. “That’s how you feel, isn’t it?”

My heart leapt. “Every day.”

He grabbed my hand, and I smiled with relief.

– – –

This was inspired by Erin Graves’ post last week, where she wrote about the movie Finding Joe, which spoke to the literary hero in me…

Also hooking up with Yeah Write again this week, because they challenge the writer in me.

51 Comments

Karen
June 24, 2013 at 7:47 pm Reply
I love this. That movie is on my list of “must watches” (also because of Erin’s post). Ironically, I’m currently in the throes of applying for my first *real* job in four years. Hmmm. . .maybe I should watch Finding Joe tonight!
Karen recently posted…Pain Is My Muse
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 9:29 am Reply
  I wish I had watched it before applying to my first corporate job…I may have chose differently. Good luck to you, Karen!
Chris Plumb
June 24, 2013 at 11:22 pm Reply
The browser thing? Yeah I do that too. My wife is always finding out things about me via my “research.” At least I’m not looking for anything inappropriate. Although I did show her how much pornography was on the walls of homes in Pompey, so she won’t be shocked when she goes there in a few days.
Chris Plumb recently posted…No More Continues: A Book Excerpt
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 9:30 am Reply
  Haha! I’ve seen exhibits on ancient Greek & Etruscan “pornography” – funny stuff! Some things never change…
Angie Ryg
June 25, 2013 at 12:16 am Reply
I have never seen this movie and now it is on my list for this weekend. I love that you connected and he knew how you felt – a writer’s life.
May you be blessed in other way’s this week!
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 9:32 am Reply
  It’s hard for me to verbalize why I’m doing what I’m doing to people without sounding like a wacko. Maybe I shouldn’t care so much, but I do want to be understood. Seeing that there are other people who live the way I live is somehow validating to me.
  Thank you, Angie!
From Novels to Board Books
June 25, 2013 at 4:15 am Reply
I haven’t seen that film yet, but now I will. That section of your bookshelf and mine are nearly identical, except for the Lais of Marie de France and Paradise Lost (which is truly lost…). I always thought Abelard was such a jerk. Why do the smart girls always fall so hard for Abelards?
Great post!
From Novels to Board Books recently posted…Goodbye, Stephen. Hello, Margaret!
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 9:34 am Reply
  The Lais are some of my favorites – they’re so complex, way ahead of their time philosophically. And YES – Abelard really ticked me off, but I identified with Heloise’s passionate nature at the time (read it in my mid-twenties). I think it’s the smart girl’s lot, to fall in love with “challenging” men. 😉
Mamarific
June 25, 2013 at 7:56 am Reply
This is on my list of films to see. I will have to do some spousal convincing on my end, as well. I’ll follow your lead!
Mamarific recently posted…Pacing the Perimeter
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 9:35 am Reply
  I’ve learned subtlety is the best tactic. 😉
Jester Queen
June 25, 2013 at 9:12 am Reply
And that question, “Why do you write” is so essential. So much can hinge on the answer. A career; happiness; sanity; freedom.
Jester Queen recently posted…Sex Ed
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 9:36 am Reply
  It truly is! People will think you’re crazy, or irresponsible. I do it for the same reasons you listed – the exact same, in fact. I’d only add one more: I believe I was meant to write. 🙂
that cynking feeling
June 25, 2013 at 9:55 am Reply
I love that you were inspired by Erin’s post to watch the movie. I can also relate to you watching it but not wanting to confess to your husband that you had. I did the same thing with the film “Wretches and Jabberers.” I didn’t want to scare off my husband from watching it.
that cynking feeling recently posted…Gearhead Grandslam
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 10:29 am Reply
  It’s the minor-control-freak in me. 😉 I haven’t heard of the movie you mention, I’ll have to look it up!
zoe
June 25, 2013 at 10:13 am Reply
Im just glad I saw this movie at a time I am willing to listen to it…. Sounds like you found the right person to hear it with you as well.
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 10:29 am Reply
  Yeah, you have to be in the right place. I wasn’t ten years ago, though I wish I had started pursuing what I love earlier.
Kate
June 25, 2013 at 11:25 am Reply
What a supportive guy you’ve got there… I am going to have to check out this movie.
Kate recently posted…Shouldn’t love be easy?
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 11:31 am Reply
  Yeah, I’m pretty lucky! 🙂
Kristi Campbell
June 25, 2013 at 11:43 am Reply
This is an amazing post. I’ve never heard of Finding Joe but now I want to read it. I recently took a part-time job and there are days when I regret it because it seriously cuts into my unpaid writing time. I love that Mike got that “that’s exactly how you feel!” Huge smiles here. Thank you!
Kristi Campbell recently posted…When a friend’s pain leads to the best idea of your life
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 11:57 am Reply
  Yeah, I know what you mean about the job-thing. At the very least, the time I do have is focused & well-spent, because it’s so preciously rare.
icescreammama
June 25, 2013 at 12:47 pm Reply
now i have to see that movie!! i love that your guy got it. not a lot would.
icescreammama recently posted…Moving up. And moving on.
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 2:38 pm Reply
  He’s pretty intuitive. 🙂 I’m lucky because I’m not always capable of expressing myself verbally. I get overexcited & lose the ability to clearly make a point.
Christie
June 25, 2013 at 1:33 pm Reply
I related to every word. now I HAVE to see that movie. Great post.
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 2:44 pm Reply
  Thanks! Hopefully you’ll take away from it as much as I did. 🙂
Madison
June 25, 2013 at 1:40 pm Reply
You’ve piqued my curiosity now I have to see the movie. Visiting from the buddy aid group.
Madison recently posted…The Liebster Award
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 2:45 pm Reply
  Welcome! Yes, for anyone chasing a new dream, I recommend it! It made me feel a lot less crazy. 🙂
IASoupMama
June 25, 2013 at 1:50 pm Reply
Gonna have to watch this one. Not sure who I am at the moment, but sure that the words will always be there, so I’d better write them down because I narrate everything internally. Used to think it was because I was a little tilted, but have decided now that I just think in descriptions because I’m supposed to write them. And I’m so glad to have found a place where no one thinks I’m nuts for doing it…
IASoupMama recently posted…Predictions
Ericamos
June 25, 2013 at 4:46 pm Reply
I love how Mike watched it with you even knowing you’d already seen it. He’s a good man. 🙂 And now I’m interested in watching it, ’cause I’m on the brink of slavery, and need some encouragement to stay strong for what I want.
Ericamos recently posted…This Teacher’s Lesson
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 5:17 pm Reply
  He IS a good man. 🙂 Erica, you should totally watch it – I need that encouragement, too, & it helped remind me.
Suzanne
June 25, 2013 at 7:31 pm Reply
First of all, it sounds like you’ve got quite a wonderful man there!
I love this post Natalie. Clearly it spoke to a lot of us. I watched the trailer and I am definitely going to get my hands on a copy of that movie. I tried the 9-5 life and I was miserable (and not so great at it). Deciding to work freelance was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. And deciding to write creatively again made me wonder why the hell I ever stopped. Thank you for sharing this. 🙂
Suzanne recently posted…B is for…
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 8:54 pm Reply
  I definitely have a keeper. 🙂 Hearing that you got out of it gives me hope. It’s hard doing something you’re terrible at day in, day out – well, you know.
Pam Huggins
June 25, 2013 at 7:32 pm Reply
Really nice Natalie! Your husband loves you and supports you. Writing is obviously very important to you and he’s on board.
I didn’t sign up for the Yeah Write challenge this week- but I’m just grateful to find writers like you to follow. Keep on keeping on!
Pam Huggins recently posted…I HATE WHEN BLOGGERS ASK FOR OPINIONS…
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 25, 2013 at 8:55 pm Reply
  Thank you, Pam! I do have a wonderful husband who gets me. Maybe next week you can join us at Yeah Write – it’s been such a great community!
Samantha Brinn Merel
June 26, 2013 at 9:32 am Reply
That’s a really good man you have there…I love that he was able to watch the movie and understand exactly why it touched you so deeply.
Samantha Brinn Merel recently posted…24 Hours That Changed History
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:12 am Reply
  Yes, I do have a good man. It helps that he’s known me for a really long time, lol.
Marcy
June 26, 2013 at 11:48 am Reply
I will definitely check out the movie. I used to teach about the hero’s journey when I taught The Odyssey at the high school level. I teach middle school now and have been thinking of doing something with having the kids write a hero’s journey narrative while we read The Hobbit.
Marcy recently posted…The Incredibly Shrinking Tick
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:13 am Reply
  Ooo, that sounds like a class I’d like to take! 🙂
erin
June 26, 2013 at 3:53 pm Reply
LOVE that you watched it (hooray!) and that Mike got it (double hooray!). I can hear a bit of the anguish you feel when you write: “This is why I cry and fight and break down and get back up again. This is why I write” — I’m with you, 100%.
erin recently posted…Embarking on a Hero’s Journey
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:14 am Reply
  We seem to be in similar places…it’s nice to have friends on the journey.
Mary @ A Teachable Mom
June 26, 2013 at 5:05 pm Reply
“This is why I cry and fight and break down and get back up again. This is why I write” – you described me perfectly. Thank you. I’m all over watching this movie – with my Mike or not!! Love this post!
Mary @ A Teachable Mom recently posted…When Does Parenting Cross the Line From Encouraging to Controlling?
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:15 am Reply
  Yes! You must do it for yourself.
Joe
June 27, 2013 at 4:37 am Reply
I don’t think I’ve heard of that movie. Now I’ll have to check it out.
Joe recently posted…Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:16 am Reply
  Yes, it’s a learning experience.
Cindy - The Reedster Speaks
June 27, 2013 at 7:19 am Reply
OMG I am *teaching* the hero’s journey this week! I have quotes of his all over my wall on post-its, and yes, I feel the exact same way too.
Cindy – The Reedster Speaks recently posted…Love Story.
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:16 am Reply
  YES! The idea of teaching the hero’s journey gets me excited… 🙂
Ken
June 27, 2013 at 8:51 am Reply
I as well had never even heard of this movie until just now. The trailer has me interested though.
I like that your guy pays attention to the little things. I try to do that. I think it’s so important.
Ken recently posted…#160. or, OH, There Will be Hugs!
- Natalie the Singingfool
  June 27, 2013 at 10:17 am Reply
  It is so important to pay attention. I’m not the best at it, but it’s a learning experience.
Punky Coletta
June 29, 2013 at 9:48 am Reply
I just checked out Erin Graves’ post and watched the trailer. Awesome!!!
Punky Coletta recently posted…There is weird around us all the time everywhere.
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