Rejection Haikus, or Yeah, I Could Be a Mime
I am not good at taking rejection. It’s one reason why I never asked anybody out in high school (or ever), why I went to a local school instead of putting my hat in the ring for a more prestigious university, why I am always super-nice to people, even when I don’t like them. (Except you. I totally like you.)
This is why I chose to go into writing. It’s such a supportive, warm-and-fuzzy ambition with little possibility of rejection.
So I’m not really upset I didn’t get this job I interviewed for on Wednesday. Really, I’m not. An hour-and-a-half commute into the heart of L.A. – or as I affectionately refer to it, “The Bowels of Traffic Hell” – is not my idea of spending precious time wisely. My writing would suffer, among other things like my mental health and my marriage. I’ve done that commute before, and I was a shrieking harpy every single day. Have you ever lived with a shrieking harpy? It’s not pleasant.
Also, I would be working with financial documents. I don’t know about you, but financial documents are just about zzzzzzzzzz…
Okay, so even though I’m not upset I didn’t get this job, there’s still a sting. An I’m not good enough feeling that’s hard to shake off, like burrs stuck in your socks. It makes me a bit sad-faced. Especially since I’m supposed to be good at the job for which I applied.
At least they got back to me. Most places don’t even do me the courtesy of a form “Thanks-But-No-Thanks” email.
Even so, I think that the least a prospective employer could do is send you flowers. Rejection flowers, if you will. Or chocolates. Or popsicles (it’s hot here). Or a haiku. A nice rejection haiku. It might go something like this:
We think you’re a catch
But you’re not quite the right match
Best of luck to you.
See? That took me all of 40 seconds to write. It would hardly put anyone out. I guess I shouldn’t judge, though. Not everyone is a poet.
But you get the idea. Rejection needs to be delivered with a spoonful of sugar, or at the very least a cup of coffee, because if you’re looking for work, you’re getting a megaton of rejection and you need all the energy you can get to continue the slog through job boards and other instruments of job-seeking torture. I see why people give up and drop out of the work force. Daily demoralization is not for the faint of heart.
I’m actually learning to let it roll off my back a bit more. It obviously wasn’t the right fit for me, so what do I care if they reject me (I tell myself every fifteen minutes or so)? The right job will come. I just have to have faith. That is one aspect of my life that is growing exponentially, at least. Faith is becoming vastly important for my day-to-day activities. Without it, I surely would have taken to the streets to perform my miming skills for nickels and condoms.
In the meantime, I’m going to keep writing more rejection haikus. I think there might be a market for that in this economy.
Thanks for your effort
Though it wasn’t meant to be
Your skills impressed us.
34 Comments
Karen
It sucks that you didn’t get the job, but given the long commute and the fact that you would have to do boring number-related stuff all day, it’s probably for the best.
The idea of “rejection Haikus” is totally brilliant. You should write a book of them. They could span multiple genres (work, love, parenting, dieting, sports, etc.). Do it!
Karen recently posted…When I Grow Up. . .
Natalie DeYoung
I agree. I’d have been miserable.
And I like the idea of having the haiku project span multiple genres…hm…the wheels are turning, now.
Vanessa D.
I’m working in a job I hate. I keep telling myself I really need to get another job but every job I’m qualified for looks like more of the same old same old. So I admire you for actually having the ambition to keep trying.
Rejection Haikus should completely become a new trend.
Vanessa D. recently posted…Dancing the Dance
Natalie DeYoung
Ugh, I hate that. I hate that I’m looking for jobs I don’t necessarily want, but need. Bitches gotta eat, you know? Good luck to you, too. I’m pulling for you.
Mollie Claire
My sister lives near the commuter bowel from hell, and works in Compton. I don’t envy her.
I think all agents and publishers should use rejection haikus. Or hey, bring back singing telegrams.
Mollie Claire recently posted…Marysha of the Potatoes
Natalie DeYoung
Ugh. Compton. I served jury duty there, and it was not pleasant.
And they should, shouldn’t they? It would make the whole process way more palatable.
Celeste
It’s hard to be sad
About not getting shit work,
But paychecks are nice.
Celeste recently posted…The Haku Lei My Grandmother (Re)Made
Natalie DeYoung
I <3 this (and you, of course).
Considerer
Hey, this was a really nice piece ‘to camera’ – I really enjoyed reading it, and you know, in spite of the rejection and all the impact it had/has, this piece feels quite chipper. Which makes me happy.
And I’m glad you didn’t get the crappy job. I hope that you do get A job soon, cos money/esteem/giving back/being part of/yadda yadda, but it’s not worth getting harpified for. So there’s that.
Considerer recently posted…Ten Things of Thankful #46
Natalie DeYoung
Haha, I couldn’t help but be a bit chipper. The idea struck me as comical. And no. Nothing’s worth being harpified for.
chamanasgar
I enjoyed reading your post,there are lessons I can learn from it.
Natalie DeYoung
Good: it’s the least I can do. 🙂
Deanna Herrmann
I’ve driven in LA and just the thought of that kind of commute made my stomach flip. It sounds like it was for the best, although I get the sting. I think there is absolutely a market for rejection haikus! Hell, they could just pay you to write some for them! 🙂 seriously, though, hope you find something you want soon!
Deanna Herrmann recently posted…A Punch, A Tease, A Group & A Promotion
Natalie DeYoung
Oh yeah. It’s brutal.
And I am liking this idea of writing rejection haikus immensely…
Marcy
That commute sounds beastly. Still, I am sorry for the disappointment. I once made it to a third interview for a job, and had to perform a lesson for a panel, and then I never heard back. Not that I’m bitter. A haiku would have taken some of the sting out of it.
Marcy recently posted…Hunting for the Byrds and the Animals
Natalie DeYoung
Marcy, this comment makes me feel a little better. At least it was just the first interview. Well, 1.5st – phone interview first.
Moniqua
I totally agree. Some places won’t even notify you. You go back online and see “position filled” or “position withdrawn” and you never even got a notice. Applying for a job is hard as it is. I would at least like to be notified that I’ve been rejected. Keep trying though, there’s something out there for you.
Moniqua recently posted…Second Chances
Natalie DeYoung
That ticks me off, too. Just let me know, already.
Ellen
You could totally write a small volume of rejection haiku poems. It would be the perfect gift for that friend who is in the same boat as you. You could branch out and add some for college rejections (I specialized in those!) and auditions for various performing groups.
Ellen recently posted…Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
Natalie DeYoung
I am taking notes, Ellen, for a possible collection of these.
Jack
I used to commute from Encino to Torrance each day. That was commuter hell.
Jack recently posted…You Can’t Ignore The Power Of Pictures
Natalie DeYoung
Oh yes. Almost any commute in LA has become commuter hell.
Shailaja V
You know, I have always admired people who can write haikus 😉
And I like the idea of rejection chocolates! Hmm, maybe there’s a reason I am writing/blogging.
Shailaja V recently posted…All a-flutter
Dana
I’m sorry about the job, Natalie, but your haikus are awesome. You should write a book of haikus; it would be a huge hit and then you wouldn’t need that job or any other one.
Dana recently posted…H – E – double hockey sticks
The Fiber Engineer
When my husband and I lived in Las Vegas I worked at a home care company as the new client, schedule, initial interview girl. I also had to answer all the phone calls from angry clients that no one else wanted to take.
When I was being trained my boss told me to “build a shit sandwich” when delivering bad news – be it handling conflict with current employees, rejecting people who we’ve interviewed, or handling a particularly loony 86 year old woman who’s convinced the girl who sees her three times a week stole a box of her dead cat’s toys.
A shit sandwich is pretty self explanatory – tell them something nice, slide in the bad news, and close it with another compliment and cheer. The cheer is the cherry on top, or the mustard, or whatever condiment you might put on a sandwich, I’m not here to judge.
But if I had the opportunity to purchase the services of a Rejection Haiku Specialist my job would have been easier.
The Fiber Engineer recently posted…The Marital Bed
abundance in the boondocks
Fun post. I like how this post gives us the visual of the shrieking harpy and then shares how, even if the job wasn’t a fit, it still stings not to get picked. I can relate. I’ve done that. Even when we know someone or something isn’t a good choice, we still want to be chosen.
abundance in the boondocks recently posted…Three A to Z Surprises
Kim at Awkward Laughter
I’m so sorry you didn’t get the job, but you definitely got a great post out of the experience. I don’t know what I like better: the phrase “a shrieking harpy” or the idea of rejection haikus.
Kim at Awkward Laughter recently posted…Finding One’s Voice: 30 30-Somethings
Kate
I agree about wishing companies sent something letting you know the job was filled. Otherwise I think my resume is just hanging out there!
Kate recently posted…Back to life, back to reality
Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real.
You could totally get a job writing rejection haikus. People would eat that up! Also, do you find it ironic that you wrote this and then did NOT get rejected for VOTY? 😉 I am SO happy for you- you very much deserved to get that honor, and I can’t wait to see you again at BlogHer this year! Congratulations, my most talented friend!
Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. recently posted…The Mother’s Day Blues: A Recap
Natalie DeYoung
Right? Terribly ironic, huh? 😉
I can’t wait to see you too!
Linda Roy
It sounds all cliché and yada yada, but I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and that you didn’t get the crappy job because the job you want is right around the corner. And then you’ll be writing the
‘I’ve kicked ass all along’ haikus.
Linda Roy recently posted…The Birth Of Concepción
Natalie DeYoung
Here’s hoping…
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