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No, I’m Not Ready to Have a Baby Yet, Thanks For Asking. — 35 Comments

  1. “Baby mild-seasonal-allergies” may be one of the most amazingly descriptive things I’ve ever read. Love it.

    Xoxo Jenn Pressler

  2. Also, I totally relate! I’ll be 32 in a couple weeks and let me tell you, once you do start traveling it’s even harder to decide to start a family. One of the biggest reasons we’ve put family-starting off is because it’s fricking impossible to intentionally hand over such fortunate freedom for a crying, pooping machine. But I still want one. Yesterday. Making the decision (or even thinking about making the decision) of how to balance time, career, writing, sanity and all that with baby-having is tough. I feel for you there, mostly because that’s where I’ve been living the past couple of years. Welcome to the clubhouse. I’ve got coffee.

  3. If only my friends/brother/cousins would have some babies, so I could be that crazy auntie and satisfy my need to have contact with mini-humans. But alas, all in my early 30s social group seem “stuck” in this regard- no one seems to want to jump off that cliff yet. The very thought of committing to having a child makes me hyperventilate a little.
    I guess I’ll stick with cats for now, but I do have a case of baby mild-seasonal-allergies myself.

  4. I popped over from The Bloggess, intrigued by your title. I never wanted to have le bebe. The Mother in Law even offered to raise said child for us. She did okay with her son but she’d totally lose a baby in her hoard (yeah, she’s not doing well). We did adopt a couple of kittens this past weekend though, so soon the announcements will go out to their grandmothers.

  5. I have 3 kids, I’m expecting #5 (#4 is being adopted right now), and my husband and I never stopped traveling just because we had kids. In fact, we just got back from eastern Europe with the youngest, who came with us to meet our new child. We will be bringing the littlest one back with us when we go pick up #4. We are not rich, we just decided that traveling was a priority. Since we’ve had kids we’ve been to Italy, Germany, Puerto Rico, eastern Europe, and 32 states. Our kids adapt to new situations fantastically well as a result, and have a level of good behavior that they have been complimented on literally all over the world. (and no, I didn’t get “lucky” and have easy kids, these little stinkers have strong personalities and wicked senses of the inappropriate). I’m not a super mom, and some days this is insanely hard, but there’s no reason not to travel with kids. (also, they fly free until 2!)

  6. I too waited until I was done with my 20s shenanigans before thinking about kids. I’ve crossed over into the dark-side (over 30) sans baby. I recently had to have some pretty gnarly surgery on my ladybits. Now, it’s not just friends and family, but also my surgeon, “So, are you guys going to have kids? Don’t worry about how you’re going to afford them. No one can afford kids. You just make them and worry about it later.” Isn’t it an odd feeling when everyone seems to have an opinion about who should be coming out of your hoo-hoo-dilly? (That sounds horribly wrong, yet so right.)

  7. I had my daughter at 26 and then my boys at 34 and 36. I have to say I was much more prepared, calm and in charge for the boys. I also have several friends (married) who have decided not to have children. People always grill them like they are going to be enlightened and change their minds. Like that is an impossible concept. I applaud them, they know enough about themselves to know it is not for them. And if they want to spend time with kids, they can always borrow mine. But they never take me up on that offer?? Weird?
    Stephanie Daigneault recently posted…Meat Loaf – Love it!My Profile

  8. I don’t think that anyone should feel pressured to have kids until they are sure that they are ready but I’m also going to chime in to say that you shouldn’t let a fear that they will hold you back from traveling be a deciding factor. I have been traveling with kids since my oldest was 4 months old which adds up to more than 16 years now! We travel several times a year and have had amazing experiences. Sure travel is different when you have kids along but I actually think that it’s better. Kids force you to slow down and really take in a destination rather than race from one place to the next plus you are far more likely to meet locals when you are traveling with kids – parents at the playground bond no matter where in the world you are. So good luck as you contemplate this huge decision and don’t worry about being a perfect mother – there’s no such thing!
    Lisa Goodmurphy recently posted…Book Review: Las Vegas: An Indie Travel GuideMy Profile

    • Thanks for easing some of my fears, lol. I know you can travel with kids, but of course there’s always the fear of lacking money. I’m working on cultivating an attitude of abundance and trust, but it’s hard to change longstanding world views.
      I love your blog, though – it totally gives me hope. 🙂

  9. Baby mild seasonal allergies ~ I love it! I know they always say, “If you wait until everything’s in place, you’ll never have children,” but I do think it’s important to be ready and ‘in the right place’ before having children, because, as you know, it’s life altering. I mean, watching those soap operas all day is SO hard!
    Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha recently posted…Trick or Treat: My Motherhood Journey in Nine HalloweensMy Profile

  10. Ive never had that bio clock thing go off. Thanks God… I adopted out of necessity for the kid …which I will never regret but probably wouldn’t have had kids if this were not the case. My favorite line which has always described me is “More like baby-mild-seasonal-allergies.” It says it all… just some minor itching…totally treatable.

  11. haha, you’re so funny. Just wait till it doesn’t feel scary, then you’ll know. In the meantime…KITTIES!!! haha! Seriously, don’t ever feel pressured. I got that question a gazillion times and waited ’till I was 33 to push one out. No regrets. You’re ready when/if you’re ready. you’ll know….
    (congrats to your sis, btw. cutie lil munchie!)
    Beth Teliho recently posted…How Many F#!@% Cats Do You Have?My Profile

  12. Oh, the anguish…there are times (say, the entire decade of one’s thirties) when being male has its advantages, except the part where the female is also in her thirties. Sigh. At any rate, my (now-ex)-wife waited until she was 40 to crank out the first, and then 17 months later, the second. Oh — you know that whole “balance” thing? No, I won’t even say it. Let’s just say that I admire the commenter here who went all over the world with her kids. We felt like gods just having gotten them to Storyland.

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