Things I’m thinking about:
- I am a much more sane person when I take regular internet sabbaticals. I took one last week, and emerged a pleasanter creature.
- Clothes shopping is not nearly as fun when you don’t fit in the same kind of clothing you’re used to wearing: like, say, jeans. I’m doing better with the whole body image insecurity thing on a macro level, but sometimes it’s three steps forward, one step back. Dresses with tights and large sweaters, you will be my friends from now on.
- This whole Walmart vs. Ashton Kutcher thing. Basically, everything that is wrong with society today. I give this stuff way too much space in my head.
- I am generally tanking at NaNoWriMo. I squeeze in some writing whenever I can (2,516 words Monday, 0 Tuesday, 65 Wednesday, 1,035 yesterday, 0 today), but I did not fully think through this whole “Let’s start a brand new career AND write a novel in 30 days!” thing. It’s just bad timing. I’m trying to give myself grace and not take it so seriously.
- On a happier note, how did I get so lucky that I am doing what I love for a living? It still hasn’t sunk in yet. Then I remember it isn’t just luck, I put in a lot of work to get to this place. I do not give myself enough credit.
- I am knee-deep in the latest Game of Thrones book, and Jeez Louise, it’s like my version of crack. I’m sucked right back into Westeros. It’s pure escapism, of which I need a little right now.
- Losing a relationship with a loved one to drug abuse is painful. So painful that I’m avoiding the issue, but my heart just hurts right now.
- Sometimes my feelings lie, but hey, there they are, and I’m acknowledging them instead of wiping them away with Cabernet. This is a step in the right direction.
- This song. We’re seeing the Black Crowes tonight, and this is my favorite of theirs.
So yes, I’m currently pondering ten or so different blog posts, but I can’t just zero in on one. Welcome to my brain. Pull up a chair, may I offer you some Candy Cane tea? I’ll try to keep it down in here.
After writing this, I became determined to clear my head of all this shizz by looking for the bright spots. I prowled around the house this afternoon with my SLR, looking for the things that bring me the most joy.
Things for which I’m thankful:
- My husband, who saw how excited I got over a signed copy of this gorgeous book and bought it for me, even though it was full-price.
- My husband once again, who knew how much I wanted to see Pearl Jam in concert, but knew I couldn’t afford it on my new freelance salary, so he surprised me with tickets. Yes, he is amazing, and no, you can’t have him.
- That I got to see this in real life, even if just once.
- The smell of cinnamon warmth spreading through my house after purchasing two bucks worth of scented pinecones.
- My Turkish coffee maker. Best $12.50 I ever spent.
- The rain. Hallelujah baby Jesus.
- The view from my office window. It’s so green it hurts my eyes–but in a good way.
- Books. Always.
- The colors in this perfectly perfect abalone shell, which is no larger than my fingernail.
- This face.
On that note, I’ll leave you with my favorite Pearl Jam song. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to tell you how amazing they are live.
– – –