To the Ocean — 28 Comments

  1. I loved the little details in this, especially describing the mother/daughter relationship. How she tightens her limp ponytail or echoes back to her their little song.

  2. Aw, I’m so glad they have each other. I hope Kendra’s uncle welcomes them into their home. I really like the game that she plays, counting the blue cars.

  3. your story was delightful, in the midst of the “realness of the struggle” – nicely presented & easy to connect with the characters in the dialogue

  4. This is beautifully written Natalie! It’s so sweet and so sad at the same time. I love the mother-daughter relationship you’ve depicted and I really want to know more about Kendra and her mother.

  5. great moment. i got so much out of the characters and their journey through your vivid detail. i liked the mom and kendra. i wondered about the mom’s future, her past and what she was running from. intriguing…

  6. Reminds me of so many of my students. Just drifting with mom, before the bitterness and insecurity of adolescence turns them hard. Hope they have a soft landing. Drifting can be fun when young, but will tear an older kid up when they desperately want stability.

    Very sweet. Very sad. Very real. Good job.

  7. This is such a sad and sweet story at the same time. I love how they’ve managed to take an unfortunate situation and find something to enjoy. Their relationship is so pure. Beautifully written!

  8. Your attention to the small details makes this so visual and clear. “The waves looked like curled up fists punching the sand, only the fists were gray-blue with foamy white fingernails. ” is the best of the lot. I really enjoyed this.

  9. I like it! Through imagery alone you paint picture of a woman looking for a fresh start. Is she running from a bad marriage? A widow? A single mom down on her luck? So many possibilities!

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