Target Runs with Kids: A Comedy in Three Acts
Every mom knows Target is supposed to be therapy. It’s where you go to wander aimlessly down aisles, buy throw pillows you don’t need, and sip your iced latte while …
Publix, Vaginas and a Melting Pint of Ice Cream
There I was, trying to decide if the two-for-one Ben & Jerry’s counted as a grocery necessity or a “treat-yourself” moment, when Nico casually lobbed a grenade into my shopping …
I Live on the Edge (of the Bed)
If you’ve never slept with cats, let me paint you a picture. You crawl into bed, ready for the one stretch of peace you’ll get all day, and then… boom. …
The Slide Is Not a Staircase
Every playground has its drama, but nothing gets me more heated than slide politics. You’d think it would be simple: kids climb the ladder, kids slide down, repeat. Easy, right? …
Stop Saying Mom for Five Minutes
There’s a noise in my house that’s louder than the TV, more persistent than the cat at 6 a.m., and definitely more grating than Rex crunching chips at midnight. It’s …
Miami Traffic Is My Villain Origin Story
If you’ve never sat through Miami traffic with two kids in the backseat fighting over whose turn it is to hold the iPad, then I envy you deeply. I envy …
The Cats Are Definitely Planning Something
I swear my cats hold nightly board meetings about me. They sit there on the back of the couch, tails flicking, eyes narrowed, whispering in that silent cat telepathy way, …
The Judgy Cat Stare
You know that saying about cats having nine lives? I swear, they spend at least eight of them silently judging their owners. My cats, for example, have perfected the art …
Laundry and Lost Shoes, My Full-Time Job
Motherhood really should come with a job description, and if it did, mine would read: “Must possess the stamina to fold approximately 17 loads of laundry per week while simultaneously …
This Is What Romance Looks Like Now
Date night used to mean getting dressed up, eyeliner sharp enough to cut glass, Rex in a shirt that wasn’t wrinkled, and maybe a reservation at a restaurant that didn’t …