I never thought of myself as a vain person until I turned thirty. Well, okay, maybe I was a little vain in my twenties. In my defense, women in their twenties are supposed to be at their peak of physical beauty, which as contemporary Southern California society dictates, is all that a woman is good for until she bears children. My Master’s Degree had already decreased my value as a human being significantly (don’t believe me? Ask me how many potential employers turned me down because of my over-education. You’d be disillusioned by the answer), so I had to make sure I at least looked decent so I would not fail at…