• Family Dynamics,  General Lunacy

    Gaslight

    To spice things up around here, I’m participating in Finish-the-Sentence Friday, which I discovered on the fabulously funny Kate Hall’s blog Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine. Premise: they provide a sentence, I finish it. Basic stuff. And I do so love a prompt… When I was younger I tried… …to gaslight my sister. I know, what kind of psychopath does that? Apparently, this psychopath. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, I was just trying to make her life as miserable as she made mine through the only means available to me: emotional manipulation and passive-aggressive mind tricks. *Note: my sister and I have been on very good terms…

  • Family Dynamics,  General Lunacy

    Post-Christmas Re-Cap: Whaja Get?

    Don’t you hate this weird time between Christmas and New Year’s? You’re still in vacation mode, but you have to show up to work and act like you aren’t contemplating a nap and polishing off the remaining Christmas cookie tray as soon as you get the chance? Plus you’re sick from all the hustle and bustle and not taking your vitamins and eating like a trucker driving through the deep south, so all you are capable of is catatonic sleep with your eyes open? *Sigh,* me too. On a more positive note, I got some pretty memorable gifts, which I thought I would share with you all because that’s how…

  • Family Dynamics,  General Lunacy,  Uncategorized

    This is My Thanksgiving Post

    I am über happy right now because I’ve been baking pie all afternoon. Now, I like baking pie for two reasons: Yum Baking is a mellowing activity I love but in which I infrequently get to indulge I am good at it Oops, that was three. Oh well. Anyway, the pies themselves look and smell delicious, like what I imagine heaven’s living room smells like. However scrumptious these pies look, now I have to go make another, and then clean up this: So happy Thanksgiving, readers. I hope your holiday is filled with only the most mouth-watering turkey and the butteriest mashed potatoes and the most perfect pies (plural), because…

  • Family Dynamics,  General Lunacy

    Phoning it In: A Chair, A Conqueror

    Today I had a very taxing work day; then I had to figure out what and who I was voting for, then I had to go vote. That coupled with the fact that no one is going to read this anyway since they’ll be watching minute-by-minute election updates means I’m phoning it in today. Here, listen to my brief story about our new chair… We recently got a new chair, since the old one smelled like cat pee that never washed out no matter how many times we shampooed it, which is not a smell you want for your furniture (our old cat had some anger issues and would frequently…

  • Family Dynamics,  General Lunacy

    Happy Halloween! May God Bless You With an Abundance of Miniature Candies that Don’t Add an Ounce to Your Frame. Was that the Longest Title Ever or What?

    Okay minions, my nails are painted black, I’ve got on my all-black costume (a.k.a., yoga pants and comfy shirt for relaxing – I’m an overworked woman for Halloween), the candle in the jack o’lantern is lit, The Omen is saved to instant view, and I have a bag of chocolate for myself the trick-or-treaters. Recipe for a very fulfilling Halloween. Additionally, my sister sent me a picture of my nephew in his little teddy-bear costume, and I almost started weeping. It’s only been three days and I already miss the little dickens like crazy! This long-distance auntie stuff isn’t for sissies…and I’m a sissy. Here are some distracting photographs for you…

  • Family Dynamics

    No, I’m Not Ready to Have a Baby Yet, Thanks For Asking.

    Because I am not very discreet about my personal life, it’s no secret that my sister just had a baby last week. I flew up to meet him on Friday (for those who did not see my constant Twitter updates about this excursion), and instantly fell in love, like a teenage girl with the bad boy who will treat her like a horrible piece of meat. How could you not love a face like this? I am no different from most other women in that I am putty in a tiny human’s hands. As a nanny for three small children for about seven years, you have to develop some capacity for liking…

  • Family Dynamics

    Then Love Walked In…In a Way

    I had a totally different post in mind for today, but life happens and gets in the way of my grand plans to tell funny stories about why I should travel more, psychotropic drugs and ornery pets. Like yesterday, I unexpectedly became an auntie. I say “unexpectedly” not because we didn’t know my sister was pregnant – sorry, no daytime soap story about an irresponsible teenager giving birth on a toilet here – but because she delivered two weeks early. And boy is he a little cherub. So I am bursting with love and all things soft and squishy, like baby cheeks. I want to nuzzle baby cheeks something fierce. I’ll…

  • Family Dynamics,  General Lunacy

    The Mim (Pronounced “The Meem”)

    Hi Readers, Sorry to address you in so direct a fashion, but I need to explain why this post may seem a tad out of order. This was going to be the inaugural post on the blog, but of course I got distracted and totally forgot about its existence until I found it in the back of my drafts folder. I still like it, so I’m posting it. If it’s not relevant to you, deal with it. Hugs and Unicorns, Natalie This is not a Mommy Blog. There is nothing wrong with Mommy Blogs mind you – I love Mommy Blogs! Moms are frickin’ hilarious! – but I am missing an essential…

  • Family Dynamics

    Me & Russ: The Unlikely Love Story of Our Time

    I’ve always hated dogs. *Pause to wait for booing and hissing to cease* Before you get all up in arms over this revelation, bear in mind my history with the animals. Family legend holds that a Doberman (aka flesh-chewing weaponry of the Nazi Party) attacked and pinned me down when I was two, and while it didn’t do any lasting physical harm, apparently it damaged my gentle toddler’s psyche for good. While I have no memory of this, apparently it stuck with me. Years later, my family explained my aversion to dogs with the constant retelling of this tale, now embedded deep within me, like a microchip that releases revulsion at the…

  • Depression is a Bitch,  Family Dynamics

    First Anniversary, Take Two: UPDATED

    Today is our first wedding anniversary. I am really a doofus, because I posted this nice tribute to Mike last week, when I should have saved it for this week. Especially because today I don’t feel like writing a nice tribute. It just goes to show you, children, the benefits of planning ahead. Or planning at all. Will I never learn? Probably not. I’m not much of a planner. My wedding day was one of the best days of my life. Sure, it rained a little in the morning and there was some of the usual wedding-related drama, but overall, it’s one of my favorite memories. Gorgeous, giant white dress; amazing food; family and…

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