Waxing Poetic about the Big Apple, Part II
Because my excitement could not be contained in one post… I’ve mentioned before that I’m going to New York this October for my friend’s wedding. As the month approaches, I’m getting more and more impatient excited because a.) I love weddings – I am a squishy-soft romantic-type, despite my pretensions to bad-assery (and yes, Spellcheck, “assery” can be a word, you dillhole), and I especially love them when two of the featured players are people I love dearly, as in this case; b.) I get a full week off of work; c.) New York in the fall; d.) FOOD. I’m sorry, I just felt like I needed to shout that last one. Ah, New…
A Giant Stuffed Cat: Want.
I pride myself on my gift-giving abilities. I aim for the perfect combination of thoughtful and cheap, and I am pretty good at hitting that mark, seeing as I am both thoughtful and cheap. A side story I didn’t share yet about my trip to San Francisco for my sister’s baby shower is my quest for the perfect souvenir for Mike. He was bumming that he couldn’t accompany me on this trip, so I wanted to let him know I was thinking about him. I know, I am such a wonderful example of human kindness. As the trip was pretty busy, the only real souvenir hunting took place while we cruised…
The Albino Giantess Visits the Jungle
Adventure Week Continues! This time in the middle of a severe head cold! That’s how dedicated I am to this cause! Viva la revolución! Etc. When I was nineteen, I went on a mission trip to Puerto Escondido, Mexico. Yes, that’s the kind of young adult I was, the kind that spent her savings going to the heart of the jungle to help the Oaxacan natives paint their churches and sing Bible songs in Spanish with the Oaxacan children. Don’t judge me; it’s not like I was huffing glue and getting drunk like other college kids. That came later. Just kidding. About the glue, anyway. Actually this experience was the first…
Family Camping: An Exercise in Survival
Adventure Week Continues! Now I’m really thinking about adventure, and I’ve come up with a theory about my insatiable craving for survival shows that blows all my previous B.S. out of the water. In case you didn’t know, I am the master of B.S. Don’t even start a B.S. war with me, you will not win. Unless you’re Mike, he’s pretty good at it too. That’s why we’re perfect for each other. But I digress…this is why I never get anything done. These new theories involve some embarrassing family photos and true stories about animal feces, so really, you should stick around, as it doesn’t get more adventurous than that.…
Bay Area Baby Shower Bonanza, or, In Which I Finally Write About San Francisco, Part I
Ah, finally, the promised and long-awaited post detailing my trip to San Francisco. I’m sorry to have kept you all waiting, but, as the poets say, shit happens. I went up to the Bay Area to see my lil’ sis’, who is not as little as she used to be now that she’s carrying MY NEPHEW!! Hooray for babies who aren’t mine! My sister and brother-in-law are blonde haired, blue-and-green-eyed masterpieces of human perfection, so I always picture their child coming into the world looking like a precious moments doll and speaking fluent Dutch. We call him Pierpont.* [*DISCLAIMER: my poor, unsuspecting sister had nothing to do with that. My…
Waxing Poetic about the Big Apple
This October, I have the privilege of being in my oldest, dearest friend’s wedding. She knew me back before I had social skills. What a generous spirit. I am very excited about this event, not only because my most cherished friend is marrying her college love after ten years, but this means a trip to New York. New York! Now, I adore New York. I wish I could live there without needing to auction off my unborn first child for rent, but until they start accepting homemade cookies in lieu of cash, I’ll have to just enjoy this bustling, thrilling, purveyor-of-all-foods-that-are-delicious hub-of-the-universe once…
What About the Chipmunk Adventure? Part I
I can trace my intense yearning to travel the world back to one of my favorite childhood movies, The Chipmunk Adventure. All the eighties-born children or parents of such children should remember this fantastic example of cartoon achievement; for those who don’t, my sincerest sympathies. The basic plot includes the Chipmunks and Chippettes racing around the world in hot air balloons, unknowingly smuggling diamonds for the wealthy financiers of the enterprise. I know, awesome, right?! My sister and I watched it over and over, and each time it ended, we played our own version of race-around-the-world by bouncing back and forth across the sofa in lieu of sailing in hot air balloons. That…
