Traveller

When I
Left you alone
You grew large, expanding
Until you seeped through all my heart’s
Chambers.

When I
Indulged the fantasy, dreaming
Of leaving, you cajoled
With verses from
Afar.

– – –

This is my attempt at a mirror cinquain for yeah write’s March poetry slam. Join us next week with your own cinquain!

6 Comments

Nate

March 11, 2015 at 7:54 pm Reply

something about “Chambers” on a line by itself is so isolating. especially with the lead up “all my heart’s.” I expected something emotional and you gave me anatomy.

Gorgeous, Natalie. I really liked the cadence of this: “You grew large, expanding / Until you seeped through all my heart’s /
Chambers.” ANd you’ve captured the experience of loving/letting go so evocatively. <3
Meg recently posted…After Lascaux (a mirror cinquain)

Silverleaf

March 12, 2015 at 12:32 pm Reply

“You cajoled / with verses from / afar” is a rich, exotic-sounding description. I wondered if perhaps you were referring in this piece to something deeper and more abstract than a person? I like the idea that it becomes all encompassing when you don’t focus on it and does it’s best to make you hold on when you consciously try to leave. Like obsession or addiction.
Silverleaf recently posted…Garden Fence