I don’t often write publicly about my spirituality for the same reason a new mother doesn’t take her infant out to a Metallica concert; it’s growing and sensitive, it doesn’t need exposure to angry forces, and I feel like protecting it from the world during this formative time. Unfortunately no stranger to spiritual abuse and manipulation, I am more cautious with that aspect of myself now that I’ve been around that block a few times. Why people feel the need to bully others about their spiritual journey I’ll never know.
From St. Malo
Yet it is a big part of me, as much as my physical and emotional life. Sometimes I feel a void on my blog, that in my attempt to protect myself from religious vitriol, I limit this space. And that’s a shame. For that reason, I’m using a musical lens to let you in on a subject about which it’s difficult for me to be vulnerable.
For me, the intersection between spirituality and art is constant. When I set about creating something, I feel closest to God. While in the presence of great beauty, which includes art, I experience God, too. That’s why I am such a cheerleader for the arts in general. I believe they feed our souls in ways that are undervalued in contemporary society.
Take music, for instance. Certain songs have guided me through the dark times of my life, providing comfort and clarity. I’ve rewound and replayed them over and over sometimes, these companions that kept my spirit alive when the world seemed intent on crushing it. Or when I was crushing it.
From Tours Cathedral
“Even In The Quietest Moments” – Supertramp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfsYjj0DW78
The searching. I think that’s what a lot of spirituality is about. Searching: searching for meaning, searching for God, searching for a safe place. We never get definitive answers, and that’s where faith develops.
And even when you showed me My heart was out of tune For there’s a shadow of doubt that’s not letting me find you too soon The music that you gave me The language of my soul Oh Lord, I want to be with you. Won’t you let me come in from the cold?
Crucifixion – from Mont St. Michel Abbey
“Closer to Fine” – The Indigo Girls
We look for answers in many places. We think we’ve found them, only to be shown we’re wrong. I am always open to being wrong now.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain There’s more than one answer to these questions pointing me in crooked line The less I seek my source for some definitive The closer I am to fine.
Apostles – from Mont St. Michel Abbey
“Both Sides Now” – Joni Mitchell
Faith to me means looking at life from a different perspective, to question general religious tenets that don’t make sense to me. I’m not sure when I first read Plato’s Apology, but Socrates’ assertion that wisdom comes from knowing you don’t know everything has kept me from self-destruction in my quest for truth. I won’t have the answers to everything, and that’s okay. Once I stopped needing to be right all the time, releasing control of the outcome, I felt a weight lift from my soul.
Well something’s lost but something’s gained In living every day I’ve looked at life from both sides now From win and lose and still somehow It’s life’s illusions I recall I really don’t know life at all
Adam and Eve – from Notre Dame
“Let That Be Enough” – Switchfoot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdWEgu7c3i0
Simplicity. Stop making faith so complicated, Natalie. Nothing on earth will ever complete me, but there’s nothing wrong with needing to simply be cradled in love’s embrace. Ultimately, that’s my God. Love. (New American Standard Bible, 1 John 4:16).
And all I see It could never make me happy And all my sand castles Spend their time collapsing Let me know that You hear me Let me know Your touch Let me know that You love me And let that be enough
St. Chapelle – the entire Bible depicted in stained glass
“Be Yourself” – Graham Nash
Since having a spiritual awakening, as they say `round the halls in AA, I have learned the value of being myself. Through the real me, God can act. Having spent so many years repressing myself because I was “too much” or “not enough” according to religious standards, I couldn’t see the suffering of others. I was too busy keeping up the charade of being who I thought I needed to be to earn the label “good Christian.” Whatever that is.
We needed a tutor So built a computer And we programmed ourselves not to see The truth and the lying The dead and the dying A silent majority […] Be yourself Be yourself Free yourself Free yourself See yourself See yourself Then you can be yourself
The dome of St. Julien, Tours
“In the Garden” – Charles A. Miles (perf. Alan Jackson)
I come from a Christian background, both culturally and religiously, as I’m sure you’ve gathered by now. Certain hymns are as much a part of my history as they are my spirituality. Take this hymn, for example. Not only are the words a rich expression of my faith, but this was the hymn sung at my grandmother’s memorial service. I get teary-eyed every time I hear or sing it.
I come to the garden alone While the dew is still on the roses And the voice I hear falling on my ear The Son of God discloses. And He walks with me, and He talks with me, And He tells me I am His own; And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known.
From Château Villandry
– – –
With that, I’ve let you in my personal space a little more. It’s hard to expose yourself to judgment and/or ridicule, especially when your intimate spiritual goings-on have been harshly critiqued in the past. I hope that by getting to know me the last year on this blog, you know me. In truth, I am still learning, ever learning.
Oh yeah, and the pictures from my trip to France are the most beautiful expressions of my faith I have in photographs, so I’ve included them just for fun.
Love this, Natalie. Completely love it. And huge kudos to you for allowing yourself to be a bit vulnerable here, and open up on this topic. It’s a tough one, forsure.
Lovely, Natalie. My mom used to sing “From both sides now” as a lullaby to me and my sister when we were kids ~ so I just love it! Thanks for sharing this part of yourself ~ I love your approach and also think it is so much more about ‘living the questions’ than it is finding the answers. Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha recently posted…Bravery, Joy, and Gratitude
Oh, Natalie. I love everything about this post. I love your thoughts on spirituality. I love the way you have tentatively – but bravely – opened up this part of yourself. And I love the music. I feel privileged to know these things about you now. I have no doubt that if we had the chance to sit down over a cup of coffee, we would have much to talk about and share. Thanks for sharing this and opening yourself up. XOXO Christine Organ recently posted…The Real Reason We Are Scared to Be Vulnerable
Wow, Natalie! This is amazingly wonderful. I love how much you’ve opened yourself up here, although I’m sad that your faith has been ridiculed in the past. You’re so right that art and beauty and the creation of it all brings us closer to God. Also, we used to sing “Both Sides Now” – Joni Mitchell at summer camp when I was a kid. I sing it to this day (not well but it still moves me and that’s what’s it really about). Kristi Campbell recently posted…I thought I heard the Voice of God
Oh, the trolls. I hate to think that you’ve been critiqued for your spirituality…or that anyone is for that matter. But I love your song choices. Ilene recently posted…A Difficult Conversation
Great idea. I’ve opened my blog up to spiritual matters a few times, and it’s opened up interesting discourse. Music is the bedrock of my faith (more so than the Bible), and so I completely understand where you are coming from with this entry. For me, it has been Jars of Clay, Gungor (recently), Collective Soul (believe it or not), and Delirious that have helped me through some hard times. For hymns: Old Rugged Cross and It is Well With my Soul. Chris Plumb recently posted…With Risk Comes Reward, and Potentially, a Damaged Spinal Cord
I’m still kind of afraid of those kinds of discourses. I don’t feel as if I have enough answers to engage in any kind of debate, so I generally avoid them for now. And great bands/songs you listed. Love those hymns. And yes, Collective Soul I also consider to have some spiritually themed songs.
So nice to see this side of you on here. Loved the songs you chose – and of course, I feel similarly to you with spirituality, music, and art. xo Julie DeNeen recently posted…The Facebook Glitch Prompted an Existential Crisis
I’m still trying to figure out and be comfortable with my faith. I understand why you keep yours typically close to you. It’s a touchy subject for most. Thanks for sharing today. Kate recently posted…Day trip for the Wellfleet Oysterfest
It is pretty touchy, especially when you’re still searching. Plenty of people with opinions will tell you what you should believe, and it’s hard to appropriately filter those opinions.
I’m glad you shared your faith in this post – I understand being hesitant to do that. You write eloquently about your spiritual journey – all of our journeys. I really enjoyed reading this and listening to the songs you chose. Dana recently posted…The spirit sings
I love how you handled this topic and the post. Faith can be a sensitive issue at its best – so I can’t imagine how it feels to have had yours challenged and ridiculed. So sorry to hear that.
You did this beautifully. I had only known the Indigo Girls one previously. Courtesy of this hop, I’ve also come across the Joni Mitchell one too. I loved the Alan Jackson song you ended with – and the message in Let That be Enough. Louise recently posted…You Gotta Have Faith!
Music helps me, too. I sing in the choir at a southern Baptist church in Phoenix and it helps lift my spiritual inspiration. Tina Ashburn recently posted…A Little Different
I really love your picks Natalie. Really cool that we both picked Joni! And Graham Nash – Joni’s ex. Great connection there. Closer To Fine!!! This song has always been a favorite – perfect for this list. I never heard the Supertramp song and it’s been a Supertramp week, so thank you for introducing me to that one. Spirituality is a personal thing, so thanks for sharing this with us. Music is such a great means of communication when for the more sensitive subjects – I agree. Linda Roy recently posted…100 Word Song: Penitentiary
I think we’re soul mates. 🙂 I know, I’m jumping the gun but Indigo Girls *sigh*, Supertramp *yay*, Joni Mitchell *love*
Both sides now is the ultimate in spiritual isn’t it? Looking at something from every side and coming to terms with the fact that you still don’t understand it.
Natalie, I love you for writing this post. It is really beautiful and I know your struggles, I do. Faith came to me late in life and I also find it difficult to put myself out there now too. The songs you choose are perfect and beautiful. And I completely agree about feeling closer to God in the presence of beautiful art. Great post my friend. JenKehl recently posted…Twisted MixTape is in a Temporary Location This Week!
I love that Joni Mitchell song. Whenever I hear it, it makes me cry because it means something different to me now that it did 5 years ago, ten years ago, two days ago, which I guess is the whole point of the song. Brilliant. Jennifer – Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool recently posted…Missing
“Let that be enough” is one of my favorite songs!… the lyrics are so perfectly beautiful. I can relate so much to this post and agree that art and music are the biggest inspirations for spiritual enlightenment and inspiration. Having grown up with you I know we’ve discussed our faith many times and it is a forever growing & changing process- but a process that becomes more grounded, deep and connected (instead of a confused ideal of what we should be in order to “deserve” love from God- such a silly notion isn’t it?… when you take into context of who Jesus was) and you totally took me back to when we sang at your grandmothers funeral :’) (can’t believe after all these years I still remember the words). BTW another favorite is “Blessings” (Laura Story) It’s helped give me perspective through tough times and I believe everything that happens has a time and a reason. Even the events we perceive as being “bad” can be a catalyst for good (I think you’d agree 😉
I know. I appreciate those talks with you so much. Having grown up together, I think we understand where we’re coming from, which I appreciate so much. It’s so nice to have someone to walk the journey with. And I’m still grateful it was you who got to sing at my grammy’s funeral – it meant so much. I’ll have to listen to that song. I agree with you, 100%. Some of the worst things in life have turned out to be the best things that could have happened to me.
32 Comments
Considerer
Love this, Natalie. Completely love it. And huge kudos to you for allowing yourself to be a bit vulnerable here, and open up on this topic. It’s a tough one, forsure.
But this was stunning. Love the songs you chose. And Switchfoot = awesome. Do you know this one of theirs? Really speaks deeply to me – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYxFEFklMPA
Considerer recently posted…Who’s been at the optics??
Natalie DeYoung
Thank you. And yes, I’m familiar with that Switchfoot song. 🙂
Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha
Lovely, Natalie. My mom used to sing “From both sides now” as a lullaby to me and my sister when we were kids ~ so I just love it! Thanks for sharing this part of yourself ~ I love your approach and also think it is so much more about ‘living the questions’ than it is finding the answers.
Sarah | LeftBrainBuddha recently posted…Bravery, Joy, and Gratitude
Natalie DeYoung
Living the question. I like that turn of phrase. 🙂
Christine Organ
Oh, Natalie. I love everything about this post. I love your thoughts on spirituality. I love the way you have tentatively – but bravely – opened up this part of yourself. And I love the music. I feel privileged to know these things about you now. I have no doubt that if we had the chance to sit down over a cup of coffee, we would have much to talk about and share. Thanks for sharing this and opening yourself up. XOXO
Christine Organ recently posted…The Real Reason We Are Scared to Be Vulnerable
Natalie DeYoung
Thanks, Christine. Any time we’re in the same city, we definitely need to talk over coffee. 🙂
Kristi Campbell
Wow, Natalie! This is amazingly wonderful. I love how much you’ve opened yourself up here, although I’m sad that your faith has been ridiculed in the past. You’re so right that art and beauty and the creation of it all brings us closer to God. Also, we used to sing “Both Sides Now” – Joni Mitchell at summer camp when I was a kid. I sing it to this day (not well but it still moves me and that’s what’s it really about).
Kristi Campbell recently posted…I thought I heard the Voice of God
Natalie DeYoung
Yes, no matter the quality of the voice, singing is one of the best activities for the soul. 🙂
Ilene
Oh, the trolls. I hate to think that you’ve been critiqued for your spirituality…or that anyone is for that matter. But I love your song choices.
Ilene recently posted…A Difficult Conversation
Natalie DeYoung
Thank you. People can be harsh, when it comes to religion – even if they don’t mean to be. It’s a touchy subject.
Chris Plumb
Great idea. I’ve opened my blog up to spiritual matters a few times, and it’s opened up interesting discourse. Music is the bedrock of my faith (more so than the Bible), and so I completely understand where you are coming from with this entry. For me, it has been Jars of Clay, Gungor (recently), Collective Soul (believe it or not), and Delirious that have helped me through some hard times. For hymns: Old Rugged Cross and It is Well With my Soul.
Chris Plumb recently posted…With Risk Comes Reward, and Potentially, a Damaged Spinal Cord
Natalie DeYoung
I’m still kind of afraid of those kinds of discourses. I don’t feel as if I have enough answers to engage in any kind of debate, so I generally avoid them for now.
And great bands/songs you listed. Love those hymns. And yes, Collective Soul I also consider to have some spiritually themed songs.
Julie DeNeen
So nice to see this side of you on here. Loved the songs you chose – and of course, I feel similarly to you with spirituality, music, and art. xo
Julie DeNeen recently posted…The Facebook Glitch Prompted an Existential Crisis
Natalie DeYoung
Thanks, Julie. Next time we’re in the same city, we should sit down and talk. 🙂
Kate
I’m still trying to figure out and be comfortable with my faith. I understand why you keep yours typically close to you. It’s a touchy subject for most. Thanks for sharing today.
Kate recently posted…Day trip for the Wellfleet Oysterfest
Natalie DeYoung
It is pretty touchy, especially when you’re still searching. Plenty of people with opinions will tell you what you should believe, and it’s hard to appropriately filter those opinions.
Dana
I’m glad you shared your faith in this post – I understand being hesitant to do that. You write eloquently about your spiritual journey – all of our journeys. I really enjoyed reading this and listening to the songs you chose.
Dana recently posted…The spirit sings
Natalie DeYoung
Thank you. And it is a journey. I don’t think we should ever stop learning.
Louise
I love how you handled this topic and the post. Faith can be a sensitive issue at its best – so I can’t imagine how it feels to have had yours challenged and ridiculed. So sorry to hear that.
You did this beautifully. I had only known the Indigo Girls one previously. Courtesy of this hop, I’ve also come across the Joni Mitchell one too. I loved the Alan Jackson song you ended with – and the message in Let That be Enough.
Louise recently posted…You Gotta Have Faith!
Natalie DeYoung
Thank you. It was difficult to write about.
Tina Ashburn
Music helps me, too. I sing in the choir at a southern Baptist church in Phoenix and it helps lift my spiritual inspiration.
Tina Ashburn recently posted…A Little Different
Natalie DeYoung
Singing is definitely soul-medicine!
Linda Roy
I really love your picks Natalie. Really cool that we both picked Joni! And Graham Nash – Joni’s ex. Great connection there. Closer To Fine!!! This song has always been a favorite – perfect for this list. I never heard the Supertramp song and it’s been a Supertramp week, so thank you for introducing me to that one. Spirituality is a personal thing, so thanks for sharing this with us. Music is such a great means of communication when for the more sensitive subjects – I agree.
Linda Roy recently posted…100 Word Song: Penitentiary
Natalie DeYoung
Thanks Linda! Love both of them. And I feel a little proud of myself for introducing you to that Supertramp tune – it’s one of my all-time favorites.
sarah @ Thank You Honey
Hi stopping by from Bloppy Bloggers it’s great to meet you!
Natalie DeYoung
Likewise!
Kir
I think we’re soul mates. 🙂
I know, I’m jumping the gun but Indigo Girls *sigh*, Supertramp *yay*, Joni Mitchell *love*
Both sides now is the ultimate in spiritual isn’t it?
Looking at something from every side and coming to terms with the fact that you still don’t understand it.
I loved your list, it sang to my soul.
Kir recently posted…A Letter to My Father {Pour Your Heart Out}
Natalie DeYoung
Good! That’s what we want, huh? Music that sings to our souls. 🙂
JenKehl
Natalie, I love you for writing this post. It is really beautiful and I know your struggles, I do. Faith came to me late in life and I also find it difficult to put myself out there now too.
The songs you choose are perfect and beautiful. And I completely agree about feeling closer to God in the presence of beautiful art.
Great post my friend.
JenKehl recently posted…Twisted MixTape is in a Temporary Location This Week!
Jennifer - Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool
I love that Joni Mitchell song. Whenever I hear it, it makes me cry because it means something different to me now that it did 5 years ago, ten years ago, two days ago, which I guess is the whole point of the song. Brilliant.
Jennifer – Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool recently posted…Missing
stefanie
“Let that be enough” is one of my favorite songs!… the lyrics are so perfectly beautiful. I can relate so much to this post and agree that art and music are the biggest inspirations for spiritual enlightenment and inspiration. Having grown up with you I know we’ve discussed our faith many times and it is a forever growing & changing process- but a process that becomes more grounded, deep and connected (instead of a confused ideal of what we should be in order to “deserve” love from God- such a silly notion isn’t it?… when you take into context of who Jesus was) and you totally took me back to when we sang at your grandmothers funeral :’) (can’t believe after all these years I still remember the words). BTW another favorite is “Blessings” (Laura Story) It’s helped give me perspective through tough times and I believe everything that happens has a time and a reason. Even the events we perceive as being “bad” can be a catalyst for good (I think you’d agree 😉
Natalie DeYoung
I know. I appreciate those talks with you so much. Having grown up together, I think we understand where we’re coming from, which I appreciate so much. It’s so nice to have someone to walk the journey with. And I’m still grateful it was you who got to sing at my grammy’s funeral – it meant so much.
I’ll have to listen to that song.
I agree with you, 100%. Some of the worst things in life have turned out to be the best things that could have happened to me.