Am I Giving Up?

I never thought of myself as a vain person until I turned thirty. Well, okay, maybe I was a little vain in my twenties. In my defense, women in their twenties are supposed to be at their peak of physical beauty, which as contemporary Southern California society dictates, is all that a woman is good for until she bears children. My Master’s Degree had already decreased my value as a human being significantly (don’t believe me? Ask me how many potential employers turned me down because of my over-education. You’d be disillusioned by the answer), so I had to make sure I at least looked decent so I would not fail at being a woman.

Please don’t send me angry emails because of the above paragraph. It was written tongue-in-cheek. If you don’t understand sarcasm, I’ll be offering a seminar in the coming weeks for the low price of $99.95…

But anyway. Right after my birthday in December, I stopped wearing contact lenses, which I had worn for fifteen years because:

  1. I look terrible in glasses. I have the wrong face shape to accommodate frames on my fat large head. Glasses may make other people look smart or hipster, but not me. They only draw attention to my more unsightly features, like chubby cheeks.
  2. Glasses are annoying implements of torture for which I have little-to-no patience. They slide off your face when you dance in the kitchen to Wilson Phillips, you can’t wear them in the water, and they make wearing sunglasses impossible unless you can afford prescription sunglasses and not break them in your purse on a bi-monthly basis, which let’s face it, I cannot.

Despite these facts, I stopped wearing the contact lenses for two reasons:

  1. I want to save money for lasiks, and my contact lenses are the most expensive brand possible because of my allergies. I thought I could save the money fairly quickly by simply no longer buying contacts.
  2. My allergies got so bad that my eyes felt like they were crawling with termites all day, every day. Wanting to rip your eyeballs out and soak them in saline solution is not a pleasant experience. I ended up taking them out as soon as I got home from work anyway, because they hurt my eyes so badly.

Life in my glasses has been a stranger adjustment than I had anticipated. It’s crazy how much wearing glasses can shape your perception of yourself. While I always thought of myself as a moderately attractive person, I don’t think of myself that way anymore. I am now “quirky” in my mind. Do glasses have that much power over identity, like some kind of reverse-Superman scenario?

It could just be my age or the addition of many unwanted pounds, but I’ve apparently given up all pretense to beauty. Yoga pants have become the staple item of my wardrobe. I no longer cover my dark under-eye circles with cakes of camouflage. I wear my hair in a bun everyday. I’ve abandoned my high-heel collection in favor of cushier flats (at least they’re not orthotics – yet). Were all these changes over the past few months simply because I now wear glasses? Or are there more nefarious purposes afoot?

Perhaps I’ve been infected with a mysterious disease known as theblahs. Theblahs, which peaked in early 1990′s Generation X, is prevalent in developed countries the world over. It is accompanied by a blasé approach to life, indifferent hair-styling, poor taste in clothing, and constant snacking (mostly on cheese or cheese products).

realitybites

When I think of theblahs, I think of this movie for some reason.

Let’s hope I save up enough for lasiks soon. I would hate to degenerate to the watching-bad-daytime-soaps phase in the condition.

 

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Comments

Am I Giving Up? — 12 Comments

  1. I’ve kind of wandered away from my contacts habit too. I’ve been sporting the specs a lot. For one thing, I like seeing. I need glasses over my contacts and that just defeats the whole purpose. They get dry, they move around, it’s a hellish nightmare, really. But the glasses? Every spot, nick, piece of lint, smudge drives.me.crazy! I can’t have lazik either, because my astigmatism is horrendous. Oh, the slings and arrows I suffer. Get the lazik. Save yourself. And keep dancing to Wilson Phillips in the kitchen. Your glasses won’t fall off if you hooooold oonnn! ;)

  2. “Hold on for one more day, things will go your way,” I think it’s time to take some Wilson Phillips advice.

    I’m kidding, of course. Marriage and thirties make you look at the important things in life, and impressing random strangers with looks (outside of LA) isn’t important anymore (or shouldn’t be). Finding lasting friends who like us for who we are? Priceless.

    I’m trying to convince my wife to get lazik, as she is basically blind without glasses/contacts. She’s afraid of those few bad cases from the late 90s about people going blind at night. Doesn’t matter that there is so much evidence that the surgery is one of the most successful types performed. Oh well. Good luck with the glasses until then. They are better than the allergy eyes at home. (Again, my wife has same problems).

    • Yeah, I need to get a grip & take their advice. ;) How I look isn’t as big of a deal anymore, but it’s weird to grow out of that phase – especially in an appearance-obsessed culture.
      Tell your wife my sister and brother-in-law and former roommate all got lasik, all had great experiences with it, and all say it’s the best thing they ever did.

  3. Comfort beats out looks every time! How much longer till you’ll have enough for your Lasik? Plus, I’ve seen pics of you in glasses and I feel that you pull them off well! :)

  4. I know exactly how you feel! I got Lasik 4 years ago and it was the best money I ever spent! And shoes? Don’t get me started. Why is it so hard to find attractive, comfortable shoes anyway? You know, ones that don’t have sky high heels that make your feet hurt just looking at them or those less-than-zero arch support flats?? WTH!

  5. Oh boy, can I ever relate to this post! I went through a severe case of Theblahs last year. Yoga pants, hair permanently in a ponytail, practical (read UGLY) shoes. One day, I saw myself in the mirror and decided there must be someplace in the middle that was better (or at least nicer to look at). My solution: I cut off all my hair and starting buying gorgeous shoes that I wear on dressier occasions or really short outings. I still love my yoga pants and I wear ugly shoes to walk the dogs, but I feel that somehow, some balance was restored.

  6. Pingback: How to Feel Better When You Just Want to Punch Life in the Kidneys - The Cat Lady Sings

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