My Life is Not a Movie, My Life is Not a Novel
Do you remember when I told you I would have something funny for you yesterday? Well, by yesterday, I meant today. Sorry about the confusion. I don’t even know how funny this is going to be, either. Am I even funny? Wait, don’t answer that – this is spiraling out of control. Let’s just say it will be irreverent. I can commit to irreverent.
That said…
My life is not a movie. It is not a novel, either.
I have to remind myself of that far less frequently as I age, but yes, at thirty years old, I still have a tendency to live in la-la land. I like it there. It’s cozy and I can drink cocoa even when it’s 94 degrees outside here. I even provide my own narration, free of charge, in my head. It drives my husband bonkers. “Why can’t you just enjoy being here, in the here and now?” he has asked on more than one occasion, throwing his hands up in frustration at my blank stare and misty-eyed ways.
Hmm…good…question…
When I was younger, I used to have a very specific vision for my future and what kind of person I was going to be. Like, more specific than probably anybody has a right to expect, unless you’re born independently wealthy with designer yachts as christening presents. Just sit back – you’re going to love this:
I would have lived abroad for several years in my twenties, married someone with my all-consuming need to globe trot, then we’d live happily ever after in a location of my choosing. We would still travel like hobos (clean hobos), of course, several times a year and have wonderful adventures in Istanbul and Madrid and South America. I would be a wildly successful writer (a professional writer, not just someone who putzes away on a blog for which she does not get paid – however glamorous a blogger’s life might be) of literary fiction and the occasional article featured in Vanity Fair or National Geographic. I’m pretty flexible in that regard. I would then have two-to-three very intelligent children who all love to read and we would all go on adventures together. By the way, in this vision, I am not an alcoholic, but I do still weigh what it says on my driver’s license.
This fantasy? No, it bears absolutely zero resemblance to my current reality. I mean, except for the driver’s license thing, because of course I still weigh what I did at sixteen (never mind how many years ago that was). But I still want this fantasy, like, a lot, and still think to myself maybe, in just a few years…
I’m like a rat-terrier. I don’t let go of things easily.
Actually, marrying Mike has helped the most with this issue. Once we got back from the honeymoon, I finally grasped the idea that I had not married Prince Charming, or even Mr. Knightley – I had married Mike. Feel free to make “the honeymoon is over” jokes, please – jokes at my expense are perfectly acceptable in this forum.
On the honeymoon that didn’t turn out quite as my overactive imagination had predicted, Mike didn’t sprinkle a heart-shaped circlet of rose petals on the bed. We did not get a couples massage at the hotel spa. We did not lay on the beach and read all day. There was no frolicking in the sand at sunset, no plans for a romantic dinner at a five-star restaurant. There were just two people in Hawaii with very different expectations of how a honeymoon should go down. One of those people had very unrealistic expectations. I will give you two guesses as to which of us I am referring.
(On a side note: Mike also discovered that his beautiful princess is a terrible surfer and can eat an entire bag of chocolate covered macadamia nuts in one sitting. By herself. Just so you know, this fantasy-destroying thing? It’s a two-way street.)
We still had a lot of fun, despite our (gasp!) imperfections.
So the Prince Charming fantasy that of course I grew up having because I was a child in the 80’s/90’s Disney-Princess heyday? Yeah, I grew out of that. Now I don’t believe in archetypes, I just believe in people. Mike may not serenade me with ballads he wrote specifically for me under the balcony at sunset, but he sure does know how to make me laugh, which is way better than anything Prince Eric did for Ariel, let me tell you.
Some of my other fantasies? I’m hanging on to them, for the time being. I like narrating my life in my head – I keep myself company. Plus, I’m always hilarious when I’m the only one in the audience.
26 Comments
Stacie
It’s awesome to live inside your own head. Seriously…
Natalie the Singingfool
It’s the best. It’s never boring up there.
Ericamos
Your real life Disney movie is much better than any other princess’s!
Natalie the Singingfool
Aw, you’re sweet! Yes, I *am* a good narrator…
Kerstin @ Auer Life
Chocolate covered macademia nuts? Does that taste good? I can’t imagine eating anything but salted…
Anyway – first time reading you blog and it’s a wild ride!
Natalie the Singingfool
Yes, they’re life-changingly delicious. Thanks for coming by!
TriGirl
“This is the picture on my driver’s license” Funny 😀
I gave up on the romance stuff too, because a) I’ve never had it, and b) it would actually make me really uncomfortable.
Natalie the Singingfool
When you think about it, it is awfully unnatural…
winopants
Just a few more years…I always have said this. Finally this year ive decided to work on smaller, more attainable goals; Like getting out of the house :p Not that I don’t still constantly daydream of world travel as a pro writer
Natalie the Singingfool
Small goals – very wise. And I don’t know about you, but the travel writer daydream keeps me from becoming a weepy pile of mush in despair over life’s mundanity. But that’s just me.
Bee
Hmm…we actually have a balcony where we live now. Too bad my husband can’t sing. 😉
Natalie the Singingfool
Key factor in fantasy, assuredly.
Mamarific
I love your description of “someone” having unrealistic expectations on the honeymoon…ha, ha! That does tend to happen. But you’ve got to go with what you’ve got, and it sounds like you two have a good thing going!
Natalie the Singingfool
Exactly! 😉
Chris Plumb
I have a Jack Russell terrier, and let me tell you, his life must be terrible, “they’re leaving again? What am I going to do? I’ll just pace for hours. No, I’ll go dig a path to the neighbors house, no I’ll pace.” I think my dog’s problem is actually the opposite of yours…he has no foresight. He is constantly living in the “here and now,” not knowing that when I go out to get the mail, that I will be back in less than a minute. To him, it is all anxiety all the time about the “now.”
I do think Disney set up a lot of girls for disappointment. Look how shallow all those princes and princesses were. Good looks, good voice, a little bravery at the right time, and…nothing else.
Real people have depth. You have depth, and it sounds like your husband has depth, and that makes for a much better narrative. Your story is infinitely more interesting than somebody who grew up rich, and has one talent (singing), and is going to marry well. Disney stories from the 80s/90s, even though I grew up with them and enjoyed them then and now, suck.
Natalie the Singingfool
I know, it’s amazing how little Disney prepared me for life. I think I’ve got a pretty good narrative going without the perfection. And your dog sounds hilarious! Rusty is more relaxed, but every but as excited to see us when we get home. It’s kind of cute.
Kimmie
I do that – narrate my life as it is happening in my own head. I have for most of my life. That is probably why I started blogging – it seemed more like “coming up with ideas for my writing” and less like schizophrenia that way 🙂
Natalie the Singingfool
Ha! I love that! Blogging as a way to avoid mental illness…that’s what I do!
Jamie@SouthMainMuse
I think your observations about life aren’t all that uncommon. Why is Danielle Steele the best selling author alive? “Your life” could easily be a heroine in one of her books. In fact, I guess I’d put myself in that category too. Then somewhere in the last almost 20 years with children, etc. I’ve realized the here and now is pretty good too. Enjoyed reading.
Natalie the Singingfool
Thanks! Maybe in ten years, I’ll have realized that here and now is okay. Some days, it is.
Punky Coletta
You said this so well. I have been coming to terms lately with the fact that my life most likely will not pan out like my dreams! I used to let it get me down so very much, but now I am slowly (very slowly) realizing that I can still be happy, even though things didn’t turn out as awesomely as I imagined they would. (My hubby says the exact same thing to me that you quoted yours as saying!) It is definitely a process! (I also grew up in the Disney filtered 80s / 90s and saw too much Ariel!)
Natalie the Singingfool
Too much Ariel and Belle can short-circuit a girl’s expectations, for sure. Dreaming big is important, but what happens when it doesn’t pan out, even with the hardest work? That is the next step in the process…
S.J. Faerlind
Awesome post Natalie! I enjoyed it very much. Life sure didn’t take me in the direction I thought it would either. Realizing that you love what you’ve got even though it wasn’t what you expected is great. 🙂
Natalie the Singingfool
Thanks! It’s important to enjoy life, even when it’s not as grand as you planned. Why waste time being unhappy?
The Ecstatic Experience
This post is both beautifully written and hilarious. I’m the same way! I’m constantly having to remind myself that life doesn’t always turn out like a storybook. But it’s pretty great regardless, isn’t it? Great work!
Natalie the Singingfool
Thank you! Yes, it may not be how I planned, but I have a lot for which to be grateful, for sure!