And now, for something lighter here on The Cat Lady – because I’m tired of doom and gloom and angst and attempted arson.
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, second only to Halloween, and partly it’s because of my birthday coming the day before. Me and Jesus, practically twins.
Time for a Know-it-All Factoid: Did you know that my name, Natalie, means “Child of Christmas”? So I’m kind of obligated to love the holiday.
There are countless other reasons why I love Christmas, but I’m not going to bore you with them here. Instead, here are some terrible pictures I’ve attempted to prettify with Instagram. I have no qualms with this method of cheating, since I only own a point-and-shoot.
This is our tree:
Sure, it’s not the most grand tree, with matching ornaments and pretty white lights, but it makes me happy. Actually, I haven’t been able to bring myself to buy the pretty white lights, however more uniform and adult it would make our tree look – the colored lights are what we had growing up, and it doesn’t feel like Christmas without them. Plus I’m not even sure if there is such a thing as an “adult” Christmas tree, and I really don’t want to find out.
Spare me the coarse jokes about dildo ornaments and other x-rated paraphernalia. This is an adult space.
Also, you might notice we don’t have anything for the top of the tree yet. This is not due to laziness or insolvency, it’s just because we haven’t found the right one yet. It’s kind of a big deal. Everything on this tree is packed full of meaning and some tell a story in the manner of a serial novel, or are just ridiculous and bring me joy, so I can’t just put some random star or cross-eyed angel on the top.
See, here is part of the unicorn collection of ornaments:
Here is the handcrafted ornament we bought on our honeymoon in Hana:
Here is Darth Vadar, from my complete set of Star Wars ornaments (episodes IV-VI, natch. In my household, we pretend I-III don’t exist.):
Here is my Sleeping Beauty ornament, which plays music and changes colors:
And here is Maleficent, my favorite villain:
Here is a Peter Pan ornament that belonged to my Grammie:
And here is an ornament my Great-Grammie made for me:
And this beautiful Eiffel Tower, because of my francophilia:
There are many, many more ornaments, but I can’t share them all with you because that would get boring (for you, at least) real fast.
How did I get so many collectible ornaments? Simple, children – when you share your birthday with Jesus, you automatically receive double the Christmas ornaments – it’s built into the contract.
Now, Mike is more unfortunate than I am in this regard – his birthday is a few days after Christmas, so he doesn’t have nearly the same volume of ornaments I have. You know those big plastic packing tubs? My ornaments fill one of those.
His fit in a shoe box, like other normal children’s would.
I believe this inadequacy has to do with several key factors, one of which includes his name expressly not meaning “Child of Christmas.” Because of this, people don’t bring him ornaments for his birthday like they’re one of the Magi. In case you’re wondering, “Michael” means “who is like God?” a rhetorical question with no answer. Very Mr. Miyagi.
Actually, I’m not sure if the whole ornament thing is a blessing or a curse. I mean, yeah I have a lot of ornaments, but that means I wasn’t getting Cabbage Patch dolls or ice skates.
I guess that’s the price you pay for almost being twins with a deity.