Depression is a Bitch,  General Lunacy

Somewhere that’s Green

So tomorrow’s post will feature fine photography and wacky entertainment from yours truly detailing my weekend in the City by the Bay. As for now, this is a space-holder post I wrote while pouting about the return trip…

I try to keep it light on here, but I can get pretty melancholy, believe you me. Yep, I can brood with the best of them. I’m a broody-moody bee-otch sometimes. Just ask my husband. Or my mother.

But that’s not what this is about. I am going to attempt to find humor in my discontent. Because my therapist recommended this technique. And by my therapist, I mean moi.

One of my all-time favorite topics on which to brood is my living situation.  I have a nice, decent sized house a mile from the beach – that’s not the problem.  The weather is almost always pleasant (when it’s not freaking out or earth-quaking, like it has as of late) – that’s not the problem, either.

The problem for me…

Nothing’s green. And there’s no space. And it smells bad here. And it’s Los Angeles.

The Los Angeles basin is a cramped, overcrowded, dried-out…pit of ugliness.

I struggle when I’m steeped in perpetual ugliness. And smelliness. Unfortunately for me (and pretty much anyone in listening distance) if I’m not regularly exposed to trees and undeveloped land, I grouch up like Hugh Laurie on one of Dr. House’s worst days.

Also, it smells bad in L.A.

Do you remember that song from Little Shop of Horrors? Somewhere that’s Green?

I feel your pain, Audrey.

Yep. That’s how I feel right now. Me and Audrey, sisters in suffering.

A matchbox of our own
A fence of real chain link,
A grill out on the patio
Disposal in the sink
A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine
In a tract house that we share
Somewhere that’s green.

That’s all I want. Except for the bit about the tract house. I don’t really like tract houses. Or chain link fences. But that’s beside the point…

I always get a little pouty after visiting my sister. She lives where I’ve always wanted to live, just south of San Francisco, my FAVORITE city (aside from Paris, but even a die-hard dreamer like me can accept enough reality to know I will probably die before realizing the dream of living in ol’ Paris). There’s space. It’s ALWAYS green, even in the heat of summer. The air smells fresh and pretty. She’s in driving distance of redwood forests, for pete’s sake. If I could force a redwood to grow down here…well okay, that would be kind of weird.

I want to live in the redwood forest. Is that too much to ask???

Apparently, it is. We have to stay here because of work obligations, home ownership, blah blah blah. I thought I would be okay staying in L.A. as long as I would be able to travel often. That was the deal I struck with my husband when he bought the house, anyway. Unfortunately, my idea of frequent travel diverges slightly from his – BUT THAT’S OKAY, HONEY. I forgive you.

So you’ve been waiting it out for the humor, haven’t you? Well sorry, we already covered that with the comparison between my real life and a musical about a giant carnivorous plant. Like that would ever happen. Carnivorous plants don’t exist, people.

Sigh. Thank you for listening to me bitch. You’re all made of awesome-sauce.

Here is an early reward for sticking out this post:

Oh yes. This just happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See you tomorrow, when I’m (hopefully) back to normal.

13 Comments

  • Jenna Ochoa

    Oh, I feel ya, girl! I lurrrrvvvve the Bay Area. My aunt, uncle, cousin, and my grandma live in the East Bay. I am not enchanted with where I live right now. I thought I could do it, but it’s just too small, too poor, too dirty, too backwater. I also have work and home ownership obligations. I’m working on it. So I understand what you’re feeling and your need to gritch about it.

    • natalie

      Thank you for understanding!!! Sometimes you just need to let it out, then get back to the business of day-to-day. There’s always the possibility of magic in the future…

  • "lana"

    “I am going to attempt to find humor in my discontent. Because my therapist recommended this technique. And by my therapist, I mean moi.”
    -I just spit out all of the water in my mouth because I laughed so hard. Thanks for ruining my computer.

  • Niven

    Aww 🙁 I’m sorry, love. The only advice I can offer is to just keep looking forward to the future. I’m sure you’ll get out of LA! If you never do, you can hold me personally responsible for giving you shitty advice. I mean, it’s probably shitty advice anyways, because I’m sure you already know that.
    Ehm, well! I hope you feel feel better soon!
    Looking forward to tomorrow’s post!
    🙂 <3

    • natalie

      Haha thank you, Niven! I’m already feeling better. It always takes a few days to shake off the magic dust of NorCal and get back to reality.

  • Erica Schatz

    My boyfriend is from New Jersey, and hates it here for pretty much the same reasons as you. If I didn’t have oodles of family taking up the South Bay, I’d probably be more inclined to leave too. Every time I’m in the mountains or anywhere out of LA, I love it and usually dread coming back home to reality too. If you ever need a daytrip hiking buddy, I’m your gal! I know it’s still LA, but the Santa Monica mountains are my favorite “in town” getaway. 🙂

    • natalie

      My sister just wrote me, saying that although it’s lovely and green up there, her family is all down here. I think I’d be sad without my family, too.
      Yes!! Hiking is my favorite activity! We should definitely do that – especially because we happen to live so close.

  • Lindsey

    So what was this a about brownies? Not that I thought you were serious…I’m just craving brownies now. THANKS.

    Also, you’re allowed to vent (especially when you do it with fun-to-read writing) whenever you damn well want to here. And just think, now you’ve got all these new people (with a couch, if not a spare room) just waiting for a visit from all over the freaking place!

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