Alcohol and Sobriety

Hope, Part I – because you can never have enough hope

– – Warning: this post may contain unusual amounts of introspection. Please tread carefully. – –

The breakthrough moment.

I didn’t want to be an alcoholic.

 

I was so in love with alcohol, it was tantamount to a death sentence.

 

I didn’t want to stop drinking.

 

But I knew I would die if I didn’t.

 

Hmm, giving up the thing you love most in the world?

 

I couldn’t do it.

 

I didn’t want to do it.

 

The only hope I had was that I wanted to want to.

 

So I prayed to my God.

 

Help me to want to. Just help me to want to stop. I’ll do the footwork, but I need help.

 

Because I knew if I wanted it, I could do it, if only with that help.

 

– – –

 

Almost three years later, that hope is still my reality.

 

Never give up your hope.

This is an uncharacteristically thoughtful post inspired by fellow Lawsbian Melanie Crutchfield, who had the idea of commemorating the 2012 Olympics with a Hope relay for the blogging community. If you’d like to take up the torch, please do so and write about Hope as you know it, then share with everyone else. At the end of the Olympics, Melanie will compile all the posts from the relay and host a Closing Ceremony! Fun!

 

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